April 13, 2003

Ass Beating 101

It's no small secret that I've been ramping up my interest in the martial arts as of late, at least to some of you. You may have even already seen my one-inch punch hijinks. However, you probably haven't seen the original Bruce Lee footage.

While the one-inch punch is flashy, it's effectiveness is somewhat questionable. You see, it's always going to be difficult to out-punch a bigger, stronger opponent. That's why there's so many weight-divisions in boxing. You can have all the punching technique in the world but it's still probably not going to beat a guy even 20 lbs. heavier than you. Against a bigger opponent, you're probably better off with a choke, an armbar or, possibly more effective for a woman, a finger lock.

Posted by dr_v at April 13, 2003 08:50 PM

I like that you've provided us women with the lovely finger lock move. I'm sure that I could pull it off if pressed to do so, but I have a feeling it would just piss-off a would-be attacker, rather than get him to tap out of his assault.

Posted by: Kristina on April 14, 2003 12:27 AM

I dunno, Would be attackers are usually surprised by the sheer ingenuity of a finger lock attack. Almost enough to forget that their after young twat.

Posted by: Damske on April 14, 2003 01:18 AM

Word Kris(topher).

That Bruce Lee video was awesome.

Posted by: gene on April 14, 2003 08:06 AM

Ah, it's so easy for men to feel safe. I envy your life free of fear.

Posted by: Kristina on April 14, 2003 01:50 PM

It's true that breaking a guy's finger might not end the fight. But ask yourself this, would you rather be beaten/raped by a guy with two hands or one? A pretty easy decision... it's going to be tough for anyone to stay focused with a broken limb of any kind. Intense pain has a way of calling your attention to it.

Posted by: dr v on April 14, 2003 03:25 PM

Dear Sirs/Ladies,
Finger locks are a very effective means of self defence, especially for women. A young lady friend of mine once learnt this technique at ladies self defence classes and she gave me a powerful demonstration of its effectiveness: she put me in a finger lock, I was in great pain and could not escape (she did eventually release me after about two minutes), she walked me all around the room at will, and my fingers were still sore the next day!
The moral: all women should learn this technique for the purposes of self defence

Posted by: Michael Robinson on June 26, 2003 12:58 PM

free ass kicking for punctuation-challenged assholes.

call 415...

oh, nevermind. i guess it's not really worth it.

does anyone else feel sick to their stomach? what's really going on here? i hope there's some kind of inside joke i'm not getting.

Posted by: erica on May 2, 2004 01:41 PM